This is the main reason why I started this blog. My quarter of life crisis had struck in and I had no-where to hide from it. It took me by surprise because I didn’t know what was going on with me. Why I was feeling like a failure, like I was stuck. The life I was living was something I didn’t want for myself.
I’m not 25 yet and wasn’t near that when it started at the begging of last year. But I was finishing my degree, a degree that wasn’t making me happy anymore. So I looked for help. Google (besides telling me I have brain tumors when my head hurts in weird moments… I do find answers to my questions there). After digging a little I found an article saying; what I was feeling had a name, and it was really common around people of my age.
After reading a few more articles I felt more relaxed. So yeah, I was still a little depressed, but at least I knew that the “quarter of life crisis” was my problem.
I talked with my parents about it and they said it will pass and to just focus on finishing my degree. But, How I can focus on something I didn’t like and knowing after college things would get more complicated? I even told them I wanted to talk with a spiritual counselor. Someone who could guide and wouldn’t tell me: “That’s how life is. Just ignore it” They didn’t take me seriously, or just didn’t understand the struggle.
And yeah… it got worse before getting better. I spent several hours looking for courses in the new topics I was interested, like digital marketing. But I still wasn’t sure if that was what I wanted. I pretty much doubt any decision I was trying to make. I thought about applying to a Master’s program. But in what? I hated studying anyway. And I wanted to do more than read books. I wanted to apply all my knowledge in something else.
My brain was going through a rough time trying to think all the possibilities I had. And at the end of the day, I would be like f*ck this. Whatever, I don’t care. But I did care. I had always been a person who makes plans for everything. I need them to guide my decisions. At that time, I already checked all the boxes on my to-do list. And I didn’t have any idea what the next step was.
Getting a job was the obvious answer. But what kind of job? When you study something related with business the possibilities are a lot! Do I want to start my business? Yeah, that would be awesome. Okay, what kind of business? I have some ideas. The next day: ALL THOSE IDEAS SUCK. I SUCK. I CAN’T DO ANYTHING. I’M A FAILURE.
The quarter of life crisis is exhausting. Especially because all those thoughts came when I was supposed to be sleeping! (And if you are struggling with that too. You can read this post, to help you to fall asleep faster.)
Am I doing better?
Yes, I am. I’m still not at the point where I’m creating long-term plans like I used to. But day by day the next steps come clear in my head. Also, my parents had understood better my situation, especially my dad. That has helped a lot. It’s less stressful for me.
Right now, I still have the feeling I need to change many things in society so I can fit in better. But also, I’m focusing on my day by day. Taking small steps and just making to-do lists for the day. I try to keep myself busy and try new things. You never know how that new skill you are learning from a tutorial will be needed! Even if it’s something silly.
Advice to overcome your quarter of life crisis
1. Know this will pass and is totally normal. We are in this together! Life crises come and go all the time. The good news about this one in particular? You are shifting the person you are to be better. It’s about growing as a person. And rediscover yourself.
2. Don’t feel like the future is too hard, or everything that is coming ahead is difficult to do. Thinking like that will get you stuck. We don’t want that. Like I said, one of the things that helped me to feel better was starting this blog. Just start something you really enjoy. In my case. Writing.
3. Try to find a way to balance your personal and who society wants you to be. I want to be many things, and it looks like I can’t be a responsible adult with the way I think. That’s what I’m doing now. I’m committing to things I don’t enjoy so much, like waking up too early. I’m more productive during night time.
4. Think less. Overthinking is counter-productive. Just keep yourself busy with activities! And who knows… you might find the “Aha!” moment you were looking for.
5. Talk with people who are going through the quarter of life crisis. Feeling like you are alone is the worst. All my friends are happy with what they were doing, some of them still in college. So they wouldn’t understand exactly what I was feeling. And looking at all these people in social media, showing how successful they were at a young age wasn’t helping either. It was really frustrating.
I hope you enjoy it! It was for sure the longest post I have ever written.
If you are going through the same thing as me, let me know in the comments!