Starting an international long distance relationship sounds hard and scary. We are talking about being countries away! So you need to be sure you want it or it won’t work. Here’s a little help for those who are thinking about starting one or for the ones that are in one and need some advice.
My boyfriend lives in the US… while I live in Chile. We are kilometers away. Countries away. Dollars away (we can’t forget the money for the plane tickets!). Luckily we have managed to see each other every four months or so.
We’ve been together nearly two years and I can say distance never gets easier. Here are some tips that will help you to not go crazy that easily (even though it can be really hard sometimes).
Ways To Survive An International Long Distance Relationship
1. Be Patient
I know, that’s a little obvious, but it’s something very important that you can’t forget easily. The waiting can be long before you see each other again, and sometimes you won’t even know when will be the next time. Those factors will drive you crazy, but remember why you took the decision to start this relationship and how much you love that person.
There will be ups and downs, but don’t forget to try harder on those awful days. Especially when you think you can’t keep going.
2. Talk Every Day
Yes, there are different schedules and different time zones. But you have to try! It’s important to keep the communication even if you talk about stupid things for 15 minutes. It doesn’t matter if it’s through Facebook Messenger or another app. Just do it!
Remember that you significant other is important and needs attention. Being in an international long distance relationship means you can’t make it up and see each other the next day.
3. Make Future Plans Together
That always helps me when I feel sad. Thinking about where we can go together or which restaurants we should try next time, always helps with my mood. Having those conversations lift the spirits and makes you think about the next time.
4. Save Money
No need further explanation. Traveling costs money and you will need every penny! I’m lucky that my parents help me out with that. So if there’s a way your parents can help… make sure they like that person!
5. Take Advantage of Social Media
Like I said on the second tip… talk everyday! Meaning it can be through an app. Sometimes my boyfriend and I have 3 different conversation trough 3 different apps. On Instagram, we send each other memes and funny videos, through Snapchat we sent pictures and videos, while our main conversation is through Facebook Messenger.
6. Don’t Let Your Friends Bring You Down
Yeah, friends can be mean sometimes but they want the best for you. For sure, they won’t understand at first why would you pick to be with someone that’s living in another country if there is -obviously- plenty of fish where you live. But no matter what they say… you are the one who has to be sure. It’s your relationship. You can take advice, but they don’t truly understand how’s like to be so far away from the person you love. So don’t take too seriously what they say.
7. Something’s Gotta Give
That’s a funny movie, but also brings a good lesson. Couples fight over stupid things all the time… and not being in front of that person to solve the problem makes the situation worse. Arguing over text sucks because you don’t know if they are being sarcastic… if they are serious or just trying to annoy you. I’m very sensitive and I tend to do a big deal of everything. Luckily my boyfriends know how to treat me and after 5 minutes I feel normal again. But he’s upset he takes longer to calm down so it’s me who has to be patient. The important thing is: don’t make the argument bigger. And if you can… try to solve it through video chat. It’s not the same but at least you can see the person.
8. Leave Aside Jealousy
We all have that one person that brings the worst in us. That one girl (or girls for that matter) who makes our insecurities arise and makes us want to go there and kick some asses. I can be very extreme with that kind of feelings and it’s really upsetting that you can’t be there to deal with the issue in person. So what I normally do is trust him to deal with it and keep it to myself unless the girl is being really obvious.
9. Talk About Feelings
It’s very important to keep track of the feelings. When you aren’t together a lot to cherish the relationship in a physical way you need to complement that in another way… through words. Talk about what you love about the person… the reasons. Talk about the moment you met, the times when you are together.
10. Be Strong
There will be a lot of times when you will think that maybe love isn’t enough to keep this relationship. That is too hard. But yes, love is enough if you think you have a future with that person. It is enough when you feel you can go through anything for and with that person. Write your feelings so you will have them in hand when you think things aren’t going the way you wanted. It is important to be in charge of your feelings to be a little more rational about them. If you can fix the issue then you’ll be alright.
Okay, so the main reason why we are all doing this long distance relationship, is that we trust the person we love. Trust that they will take care of our hearts. If you aren’t feeling that way then you need a serious conversation with your significant other. This is the basis of any relationship, but it takes more importance in this cases.
These relationships are hard, but honestly they are worth every hard time we go through. If you are in the same situation as me, I would love to hear from you and your experiences! You can send me a message here.