Thinking that my boyfriend is coming soon to visit, and our third anniversary is getting closer and closer (May 20th). I thought it was the perfect time to write about what it’s like to be in an international long distance relationship. We all know that long distance relationships are hard. Obviously, the distance between two people who love each other is never easy. So you might ask, what’s the difference between those two situations?
Well, in essence, it’s the same thing. In both cases, the couple can’t see each other whenever they want because they live in different cities. Now, the difference comes when you place them in different countries, maybe even different continents, speaking a different language, and being from a different culture. That can totally change the dynamic of a more common relationship between two people living in the same place.What It's Really Like To Be In An International Long Distance Relationship Click To Tweet
The Beginning Of An International Long Distance Relationship
My relationship started back in 2015 while I was studying abroad in the US. The moment I arrived in New Jersey, I never thought I would find love or start a relationship. Because, in the first place, you never imagine falling in love with someone in another country. How weird is that? or how magical that can be?
The moment I met my boyfriend, I instantly had a crush on him. I’m weird like that, and when I feel something I just let be. In my head, I knew that wasn’t going anywhere, so I just let my imagination go wild. The next day after meeting him, I got an unexpected surprise. A message from him! That was the beginning of our story. Once we started that conversation… we never stopped.
There’s a quote by Paulo Coelho that I love because it feels like it was written for us. It says:
So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you. Click To Tweet
So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.
How true does that feel? I could have gone to a different school, I could have gone to another country, or maybe I would have decided not to go. It was meant to be. I’m sure of that. I don’t know about your situation or how you met your significant other, but I bet it was a surprise as well. At least I know you weren’t expecting it.
So when things like that happen, you have to take the opportunity to love. It can be scary. There might be many doubts and buts; but you have to know that, even though it can get hard to start a relationship with someone from another country. When you find that special someone who understands you and doesn’t judge you, you need to give it a try! When you find a person who loves every part of you, the good and the bad, you take the risk and enjoy the ride with all the ups and downs. It might sound crazy, but you will figure it out on the way.When you find a person who loves every part of you, the good and the bad. You take the risk and enjoy the ride with all the ups and downs. It doesn't matter if they live on the other side of the world. Click To Tweet
We all have different experiences with love. Some might be heartbreaking, other’s full of learning, other’s might make you feel like love doesn’t exist. The truth is, we shouldn’t be scared to love. Even more, distance shouldn’t be the reason why you didn’t give a try to a potential relationship. In my experience, it’s always worth it.distance shouldn't be the reason why you didn't give a try to a potential relationship. In my experience, it's always worth it. Click To Tweet
What It’s Really Like To Be In An International Long Distance Relationship
Like I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I’ve been in an international long distance relationship for almost three years. So I know how hard it can be and how frustrating this kind of relationship in the long run is. The traveling, the long distance, the differences in cultures, and all the money you have to invest to maintain the relationship can be exhausting.
So before starting one, be aware of these points. I’m not trying to scare you. Just letting you know a few things you need to understand. When I tell people that my boyfriend lives in another country, the first question they ask: ‘How you can make that work?’ ‘Don’t you miss him?’ I mean, duh. Of course, I miss him every day. We just love each other so much, that for us, there’s no other option than keep trying
Spending hours talking on the phone, texting, video chatting, and sending memes is part of any relationship; especially if you are in an international long distance relationship. Your phone is just essential to keep both parts sane. Even more when your phone is the only way you have to communicate with your significant other. I can’t imagine being in a long-distance relationship in the 1800s. Waiting for letters that would take months to arrive? No, thank you!
We know that it’s not possible to talk all day long with your significant other. Both parts have their own activities and routines that might not coincide with each other. Especially if they live in a different time zone (something very common in international long distance relationships). That can make even harder the communication. Although, if that’s the case, you need to make time for your boyfriend or girlfriend.
I’m lucky to say that we don’t have that kind of problem, so we do talk a lot during the day. It can get complicated since we both keep different work schedules. My nights are very busy and for him, it’s when he has more time. Or when I’m ready to talk, he’s ready to go to sleep because he has to wake up early the next day. It can be a tricky thing to solve.
I wouldn’t say you need a schedule. At least we don’t keep one, especially because I don’t work the same hours every day, but if that works for you, then go ahead! It can make everything so much easier. Life gets in the way, and that can make hard spending some –online– time with your loved one. Since we can’t see each other whenever we want, we need to find ways to spend time with each other.Since we can't see each other whenever we want, we need to find ways to spend time with each other. Click To Tweet
In a normal day; we start our day saying good morning, asking how we are feeling or telling each other if we had weird dreams. We try to say what are our plans for the day. That way we can know if the day will be busy. Knowing that information can let us know if the person will be replying fast or not.
It’s important to give those pieces of that information. Keeping a long distance relationship means you need to have patience, and we can all agree that can be hard. Especially when months have passed and you still don’t have a date to see each other. That can be frustrating.
For us, that’s the hardest part. Not knowing when will be the next time you will see each other can make the relationship harder to bear. We get worried, at some point we start losing hope, and we fight more. Having arguments when you can’t talk face to face can make everything harder to solve, and if you don’t handle it well… it can weaken the relationship. That’s the last thing we want.Not knowing when will be the next time you will see each other can make the relationship harder to bear. Click To Tweet
In the end, it depends on how you deal with those problems. It might seem like they don’t have a solution and that there’s no way to make it work, but I’m a believer in that everything has a solution. You might need to ask for help. Because let’s be honest, sometimes we just need from others. So, If you are keeping your relationship as a secret, you might need to be more open to your friends and family to make your relationship work.
I know that can be hard, not everyone understands an international long distance relationship. I don’t know if my parents understand, but they want me to be happy. Since my relationship makes me feel like that, they fully support me.
Another important part of an international long distance relationship is thinking when and how you will see each other. This can be the hardest part. You need money, a passport, maybe a visa, and so many other things depending on your relationship. In my case, it wasn’t that hard. I had a passport, and Chile just need the VISA Waiver to enter the US, so there’s not a huge paperwork to do on that matter. The hard thing for us is the money. Plane tickets aren’t cheap from Chile to the US and vice versa.
Besides that, we have managed to see each other every four months or so. For some, it’s a lot and for others, not good enough. Obviously, I wish it could be more, but the fact that we have jobs make it harder. Especially for my boyfriend. I have a flexible schedule, so I can travel pretty much travel whenever I want.
Either way, try to think any options you have available. Last year, we went to Peru, it was cheaper for both of us and we didn’t have to pay for a hotel since my grandparents live there and we can stay with them. Also, a great opportunity for them to meet my boyfriend.
You can take the opportunity of a family vacation to see your boyfriend or girlfriend. I have done that before. Just be creative and try to think all the possible ways to make that work. That’s the reason why I said it’s important to ask for help at some point.Just be creative and try to think all the possible ways to make that work Click To Tweet
Now, time for the exciting stuff! I made three different cards you can send to your significant other in the mail. I know that it can be expensive to send stuff overseas, but since this just go in an envelope, it’s way cheaper! Make sure to add a letter to make this gift more special.
To download these free printables, just sign up for my newsletter. Once you do that you will have to confirm your subscription. After that, you will get an email with the link to download the cards.Download these free printables! Three cards you can send in the mail to your significant other! Click To Tweet
What do you think about this post? Are you in an international long distance relationship? Or you are thinking about to give it a try? Let me know in the comments!